Skeptic Of Online Education Gifts

'I've never hear of this 'Online University'.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Pajama Day 743

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

What will be the worst part about your first semester of college being online classes only? My little brother will be my freshman year roommate!

I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University. Seriously? Nobody's going to go to a psychologist who's got a diploma from some random online college. And psychologists have to have a whole arsenal of treatments. They can't just use reverse psychology for everything. So what you're reverse-saying is, I'll be sought-after and highly effective. No that's ... ok, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'I'm enrolling in an online course to learn how to apply for a loan for an online university.'

"Distance Learning"

All of this is very doable-

"Whose idea was it to create a Zoom session for first graders?"

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

A Zoom School of Fish

Please School Remotely.

"It's the only way I can get some of my paitents to listen to me."

"O.K. Kindergarten friends, let's sing together... 'If you're happy and you know it - and you've washed your hands for at least 20 seconds and you've squirted some sanitizer on them - clap your hands.'"

"I think John is really getting into making remote teaching videos."

"I've become a more effective teacher with 'distance learning'."

'My dad says school is a waste of time and that as long as I'm fast, I'll succeed...'

Breakout Room

'Those are just to hide the cracks in the wall.'

"I didn't have time to take him to the dog trainer. Luckily, they have an online course."

"That thing wasn't covered in my online medical degree program."

'If you're rich enough to send me to a fancy, private college, why do I have to go?'

'All of my degrees are from on-line universities. I guess that makes me a man of e-mails rather than of letters.'

"Couldn't I do my detention online?"

"I recommend less screen time. Except, of course, for our therapy sessions, school, work, staying connected with loved ones, dating, telehealth, yoga instruction, and searching for vaccine appointments."