Size Comparison T-Shirts

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"His father came from a family of climbers."

"As far as form following function, it's a brilliant design for a business center."

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

"It's two sizes too big, but it fits."

'You must have something in my size?'

"Fake."

'You don't look like your passport photo.'

Why do we have pistols? I thought we were back-to-back to see who is taller!

'What I meditate on is we have rice and tea for lunch, and in the west they have burgers, fries and shakes.'

"It's a new travel computer. It fits in your pocket. I suggest bringing your reading glasses."

'You don't have anything in a smaller size do you?'

"Do you have this blouse in XXXXXXXXXL?"

'Hey Bob, I'd like you to meet my-'

"I bought it online...I guess size 2 is different in Europe."

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

'here comes that funny little woman and her big husband!'

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

Memoirs

Window Shopping

"Competition is in aisle four. . . but we've only got generics."

'Yeah, well, it's not as good as Disneyland.'

"Fine, how was YOUR commute?"

"I've wasted valuable hours of my life comparing the comparison sites and comparing each site for comparison. . . and I've forgotten what I was comparing in the first place!!!"

"I'm gonna spit in the eye of the next bugger who says I look like Ed Miliband!"

"Your life must be very exciting."

Colossalism: The religious belief that tall people exist so short people can walk through crowds.

'It's so cute when he he sits like that.'