Situational Irony Lovers Pillows

"Don't forget to wash your hands."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Little help?"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

Perfection Troubleshootors.

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

You're Out Of Order

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."