Situational Irony Lovers Pillows

"Don't forget to wash your hands."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Little help?"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.