Ironic Situation Enjoyers Pillows

Later that night, Tim crept into Andy's cave and coconutted him to death.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Little help?"

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Great coffee, Carole."

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

"Good news, chief, a computer virus destroyed all our documents."

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

"I can cure your back problem, but there's a risk that you'll be left with nothing to talk about."

'You're looking well.'

Time management office worker

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

'The bears are very well-behaved.'

"Oh crap, my mood ring!"

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

Wow. Worst Tunnel of Love ever.

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"Previously on..."

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"Don't forget to wash your hands."

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

"I'll have you know that I'm not breathing fire at all. I'm having a vape."

Let's afford him the same respect his minions gave Pres. Obama and his family."

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'

I use to file your expenses at the office Mr. Henderson, but I never dreamed I'd be one of them.

Priceless antiques priced to sell!

'Spatula.'

'Hello line 2, you are through to the keep fit phone in...'