Situational Humor Lover Pillows

"You mind if I smoke?"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

The Monroe Doctrine

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Honest Voting Stickers

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Only in America

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

Euro Collapse

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

Dollars Press Conference

Busy, Busy, Busy

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"

Traders joining Wall Street protests

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

Spying Smart TV

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

'Escape?...Why?'

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"