Sit-up Supporters T-Shirts

Vampire Sit ups

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Applause

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"I just wish the Earth was as beautiful to live on as it is to look at... It's right behind me, isn't it?"

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

Canine Comedians

The Family Joules: Part 3

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

"Paper or plastic?"

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Jokes machine.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

Biographies. Don Rickles for Dummies

"Make it look like an accident"

'Actually, we don't like the term 'cannibal', we prefer to be called 'homovores'.'

'I haven't been feeling funny lately doctor.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

Michael McIntyre.

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"Religion, politics, sex...in this part of the world every cartoonist is free to draw whatever he wants!"

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

Man asking what is a stall at the opera

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.