Stand-up Fans T-Shirts

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Zombie standup

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

The Rooster Comedian.

Senta jumps into the sea

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Applause

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

"Am I sensing fear?"

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Canine Comedians

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"You've tested positive for being awesome. Just kidding - it was negative."

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Jokes machine.

"I'll now take some rambling, nonsensical statements from the audience."

'You're thinking of your wife again, aren't you?'

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

Optometrist Humor

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"