Sippers With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

Coffee shop offers A-D-D-caf coffee

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

We'll have Manhattans...

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Yoga vs. Prosecco

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Wine not?"

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

Happy hour.

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

"It says here that having a glass of wine is good for you."

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

Nappy Hour 2-3.

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

Signs at the entrance of a cemetery pointing to the "Smoking" and "Non-smoking" sections.

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

"Is the vodka fresh?"

Tea Shop.

"Of course the best way to lay compost is to get someone else to do it..."

'Happy hour, drinks half price'

'Lance, the more I drink the funnier you get!'

Does THAT satisfy your commitment to the Trade Description Act?

"Any advance on 'cat wazz'?

"I'm looking for a red with a fruity bouquet, lightly peppery on the palate, and will get me smashed in under 3 glasses."

"Dinner is poured."

"Spare change please mister, for a Mocha Frappuccino with cinnamon sprinkles?"

'Apply liberally whenever you get the urge to have a cigarette.'

'It's a match made in Heaven.'

Smoker has smoking x ray.

You haven't aged a day! That's a compliment when said to a person and an insult when said to a bottle of wine.

'I used to have a drinking problem... Now I'm drinking with no problem...'