Snobby Sippers Pillows

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

Happy hour.

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

Nappy Hour 2-3.

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

"Is the vodka fresh?"

"Lady, I didn't go to barista school just to serve you black coffee."

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

Olde English Delicacies - Maypole Syrup.

Book Prediction Club

Tea Shop.

'Happy hour, drinks half price'

'Lance, the more I drink the funnier you get!'

Drinks vending machine: Tea, Coffee, No idea what this is, Urgh, and Best not.

Santa and reindeer smoking cigars and drinking a glass of brandy in rocking chairs.

Temperance Society: Cheese & Wine Evening 7:00 til 7:15.

'Yeah, yeah, yeah; two years in French oak; warm days; cool summer nights. What the heck's the alcohol level?'

Coffee shop offers A-D-D-caf coffee

"Only St. Bernards are allowed in."

"To think a daughter of mine gets caught shoplifting cheap cosmetics. What have I taught you? Go for luxury brands."