Social Sippers Pillows

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

Tea Shop.

Happy hour.

Nappy Hour 2-3.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"An everything Martini, please."

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Just the one...

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Next Round Indicator

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

'Malty tasking.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

"Your shout!"

"You want your olive?"

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

"If there's been a constant theme in my life It's that I'm really thirsty."

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

Liquidity Lunch

Join me in a beer?