Ironic Sippers Pillows

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"The 'Ex' huh?"

Happy hour.

"Physician heal thyself."

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

Scariest Tactics

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

Nappy Hour 2-3.

Beethoven's 10th

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

"You're not stepping on it right."

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

Olde English Delicacies - Maypole Syrup.

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

Book Prediction Club

"Is the vodka fresh?"

Tea Shop.

Watch out for this guy. Worse than passing bad checks, he asked for instant coffee and nondairy creamer.

'Lance, the more I drink the funnier you get!'

'Happy hour, drinks half price'

Drinker.

"I'm A Gigantic Starfish Endowed With The Gift Of Speech, Not A Miracle Worker."

Guy reading 'Irvine Welsh' drinks 'Earl grey'

"This whole thing has turned him into a hypochondriac, he's even installed a medicine cabinet in his den."