Sinister Humor Seeker Pillows

"You won't find any cute little birdies here."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

'Fetch.'

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

The Runaway Horse

Transylvanian backpackers.

Giraffe Umbrella

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

A caveman paints from life

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

National Everything Awareness Day

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'