Humor Seeker Pillows

"What's that Scottish word for when its cold, dark and raining?"

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

Rubik's Pube

"You're kidding. I thought it was Friday."

'And then I just hit delete. I haven't actually eaten any homework in years.'

"Have you tried taking long walks?"

"Did the three pigs have enough insurance to rebuild their home?"

"Gruelling as this is, it's not a total-body workout."

"Do you ever ask yourself 'humanely raised' for what?"

"I'm from the future. You left the toaster on."

"Artie, they took my bowl."

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

Home Office Gossip

Still Waiting For Something To Turn Up, Mr. Micawber Is Ignored

'You realize, it may take us a while to get up to code.'

'I never get tired of watching them.'

"Dear God, Thank you for the nice commandments."

No Evil

"...And how do you feel once you've had a hissy fit."

"That was funny like a thousand miles ago."

A man and horse touch hands during a prison phone call.

"I just think it sends the wrong message."

'Mind if I play the cello for dramatic effect?'

Riding School Excursion

"I'm counting that as a stroke for each time you went around."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

Type A Personality/Type B Personality.

Two men in a canoe rowing against each other.

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.' (black and white).

'You didn't think you could get away from us that easily, did you?'

'Nothing is biting, let's take a lunch break on that island.'

'Don't rush me! I need some time to process everything.'

"I had a nice time, Steve. Would you like to come in, settle down, and raise a family?"

'Gesundheit.'

'And now, concerning the special collection...'