Comedy Seeker Pillows

"What if I told you that the thing you've been chasing your whole life... has been a part of you all along."

Slot machine.

"We can't agree on a size."

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

"What's the next best medicine?"

Accident Free Days 14?3.

'It's a postcard from your doctor. He says he'll be right with you.'

'How did you arrive at this price?' - 'Our computer has a new random generator.'

'Hi, I'm calling to check to see if 'alien attack' is covered on my auto insurance...'

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

'I know we asked for a room with running water,but...'

'Now I'm glad I sprained my ankle. The view from up here is beautiful.'

'He was a physician, but because of all the difficult patients he gave it up and became a veterinarian.'

"Is this seat taken?"

'Sorry, but I can't tell you how I magically pop out of the hat: My contract has a non-disclosure clause...'

Tennis Court - "How do you plead?"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'That's much better.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'Fill it up, hold the cotton.'

"Next time we're shopping at Wal-Mart."

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

'Rectal palpation, hell! I lost my thermometer!'

"It was one of the toughest divorce settlements he'd ever dealt with..."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'Do you realize we could be waiting in line at the restaurant by now, Patty?'

"I'm going to pull a seat number from this fish bowl and someone will have a very memorable night at the theater."

Just a little seasoning...

'You were meant to plant them not eat them, Jack.'

Fishing.

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

Let's hang together

Free kick to us...er I mean, to Rovers.

'Beryl, I've been thinking.....'