Cosmetic Comedy Seeker Pillows

'Well.. Your nails are very rusty...'

Clown on bike.

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

Knights of the bedside table.

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Dedication to excellence....

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Noah's ark, many lions

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

Zoo animals.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

Just a little seasoning...

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"Excuse me, but have you ever thought of play the mandolin?"

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

"They certainly are jolly creatures aren't they?"

'How did you arrive at this price?' - 'Our computer has a new random generator.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Fishing.

"Botox."