Singles Market Gifts

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Do you know what girls want?"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

Eric knew where all the real slappers hang out.

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

"I fancy tall men."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

Woman seeks male companion...

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

Dorothy and the singles bar

'Those girls must be in a cone of silence. I talked to them and they acted like they couldn't hear me.'

'Forget it, they're gay.'

"You're healthy enough for sexual activity but not attractive enough."

'Yes, I believe in love at first sight. Apparently you believe love is blind.'

Man marooned on island sets up bar for 'singles night'.

"Dibs on the tall one!"

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

5-hour relationship drug.

"When I ask myself out, I always say yesh...."

First Date: 'Using a ten year old photo on your dating profile is one thing, using a ten year old photo of a male model is quite another!'

"I would take you up on your offer to have a glass of wine, but I've heard that it shouldn't be consumed with a depressant."

"I like my men like I enjoy my peanut butter. Chunky with big nuts."

'Excuse me, haven't I seen your face somewhere else?'