Singles Market Navigators Gifts

'I don't like the way that guy is looking at me.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

"Thanks for that."

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

"Feel free to hydrate during my presentation."

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"

"I need a man who will commit."

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

Cyber Fight

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"