Navigating The Singles Market Gifts

'You have a strange glint in your eye.' 'That will be my luminous contact lens.'

Tasty.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

Augmented reality check

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

All my friends are getting married. I'm just getting drunk.

'Nah! He's not my type.'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

Woman seeks male companion...

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

Dorothy and the singles bar

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"He was that needy, he actually asked me on a second date."

'Forget it, they're gay.'

"Is there a doctor in the house...hopefully unmarried?"

Peg Party.

Carol sensed some negative vibes from her date when he pulled out a laptop and began perusing other women's profiles.

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

"You're healthy enough for sexual activity but not attractive enough."

"Dibs on the tall one!"

"I'm still in shock. He had such a trustworthy avatar."

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

"But the restraining order was totally temporary."

'Yes, I believe in love at first sight. Apparently you believe love is blind.'

Lonely Hearts - Men seeking anything that stays still long enough.

Sue meets another Winner