Singles Market Explorer Gifts

"Let's face it, Shirley...All the good ones are either gay or neutered."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

At the market

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Online Dating

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"I just love a nice knight out."

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"OK, now what?"

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

Produce Market. Lots of things are going on with the produce. The tomatoes, as usual, are having a fruit or veggie identity crisis. Though it makes no sense, the apples and oranges are constantly comparing themselves to one another. The plums are happy. Any assignment or position that comes their way is always the best. That potatoes want couches, of course. And the bananas think they should run the market government. Sure, a banana republic!

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

An August Bank-Holiday in the East End.

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

Assets On Hand/Familiarity With Landscape

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

Caveman to business partner selling rocks: 'Maybe we should diversify into sticks.'

Mrs. Almighty.

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'With our pioneering spirit we are going to break into some great new markets.'

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

New diet. Look. 1,000,000 visitor. Buy. EOA. Survey. Tired of . Eye test for internet users.