Singles Bar Regulars Pillows

"Dibs on the tall one!"

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

Eating the Cocktail Olive

"I fancy tall men."

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

Man at bar: 'Drinking to forget?' Other man: 'Don't remind me!'

'Gordon is the latest in a series of unfulfilling relationships.'

'Bartender! Will you please explain why my gaze has fallen upon a piece of wall not plastered with a blaring high-def TV???'

Singles Night: 'No, no, it's not you, the problem's with me - it's just that I'm cursed with good taste.'

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

'Those girls must be in a cone of silence. I talked to them and they acted like they couldn't hear me.'

Two men attempt to use the same snooker cue.

'One door closed, another opened, and I fell right out the window.'

Peg Party.

'My job is safe. This guy is a regular and he drinks to forget.'

'Forget it, they're gay.'

"She doesn't have the hots for you. She doesn't even have the lukewarms for you."

"A bloody Mary, Chuck-weapons grade."

Men in bar lament olympic beach volleyball ending 'I miss beach volleyball too.'

'Yes, I believe in love at first sight. Apparently you believe love is blind.'

'Hey you two! Take that outside.'

"As long as you're over 18, and I'll accept dog years."

Because it contains thousands of individual characters, burping the alphabet in Japan is truly a glorious achievement.

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'