Singles Soirée Regular Pillows

Singles Night: 'No, no, it's not you, the problem's with me - it's just that I'm cursed with good taste.'

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"Do you know what girls want?"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

Speed Dating Disasters

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

Eric knew where all the real slappers hang out.

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'Are you SURE you didn't invite the Brownes around for supper?'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"Thanks for a lovely evening, fancy coming in for some nitrous oxide?"

"I fancy tall men."

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'Those girls must be in a cone of silence. I talked to them and they acted like they couldn't hear me.'

Peg Party.

'Forget it, they're gay.'

Man marooned on island sets up bar for 'singles night'.

5-hour relationship drug.

'Yes, I believe in love at first sight. Apparently you believe love is blind.'

"Dibs on the tall one!"

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

First Date: 'Using a ten year old photo on your dating profile is one thing, using a ten year old photo of a male model is quite another!'

'Y'know, those mood rings are pretty accurate!'

Sue meets another Winner

"I like my men like I enjoy my peanut butter. Chunky with big nuts."

'Excuse me, haven't I seen your face somewhere else?'

Ladies