Singles Bar Regular Pillows

"I fancy tall men."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Watching the football.

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

"It's a full moon somewhere."

"Yeah! It was GREAT teaming up with Catwoman. I just wish she didn't sleep for 18 hours a day..."

"He's So Your Type."

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Do you know what girls want?"

Obese beer drinkers.

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

'Muriel and I were like two ships passing in the night -- I was boarded, plundered, and scuttled!'

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'