Bar Regulars Pillows

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

No Peanut Zone.

'Bartender! Will you please explain why my gaze has fallen upon a piece of wall not plastered with a blaring high-def TV???'

"A bloody Mary, Chuck-weapons grade."

"I've heard this is a great bar for picking up birds."

"Nice to see a fellow Praying Mantis in here."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Of course your lighter won't work. That's your cell phone.

Because it contains thousands of individual characters, burping the alphabet in Japan is truly a glorious achievement.

Egg, Larva, Pupa and Adult

Bull says to bullfighter in bar: 'I reckon you have to leave the job behind as soon as you're out of that ring. Am I right?'

Man at bar: 'Drinking to forget?' Other man: 'Don't remind me!'

"I slipped on a bar of soap in the bathtub, and my gun went off."

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

Eating the Cocktail Olive

Hi...Is it horse night at the bar?'

"Pay no attention to him, Kathy. He thinks he's supposed to get lit every night because he's a rum cake."

A cowboy is wearing women's underwear in a bar

Clancy: Light Drinker

"As long as you're over 18, and I'll accept dog years."

'No ice.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"I forget to drink."

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Redhead

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"Just water for me, please."

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'