Singing Sensations Pillows

Choristers

'Back off, creep. My boyfriend's got a black belt in karaoke.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Louis Armstrong

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

A Fairytale Update

Anna Calvi

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

George Michael

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"That is an outrageous slur."

Wolf Karaoke

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

The First Fire Stick

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Man listening to seashell: 'Oh, Rub-ber Ducky, you're the one ...'

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Non-Denominational Carols

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration