Singing Sensation In Training Pillows

"My name is Shirley and I'll be signing 'My Heart Will Go On.'"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Louis Armstrong

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

A Fairytale Update

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Anna Calvi

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

George Michael

"That is an outrageous slur."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

Wolf Karaoke

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Man listening to seashell: 'Oh, Rub-ber Ducky, you're the one ...'

Non-Denominational Carols

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Karataoke