Voice Training Pillows

Teacher complaning he can't understand pupil in his course on 'Voice projection and pronunciation'

'I have nothing against you being helium. It's your voice, Steven. Your squeaky, high voice!'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Songbird.

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

It's more than a mike!

Tenors

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

A man and a woman discussing the skill of the pianist.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

An opera singer

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"Great set of pipes!"

"Sopranos", "Tenors", "Basses"

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now

The Corus.

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

Ella Fitzgerald

'He's here to hit the high notes.'

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

Ernest Borgnine

A singer launches her mouth from her face.

Ventriloquist Speech Therapy.

Montserrat Caballé

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"