Silver Surfers Club Gifts

Man on really old computer - SEARCH 'a new computer'

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"I don't know who you are!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

"While you're at it, can you do something with him? He can't remember a thing!"

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

Chef's Surprise: "I'm telling everyone that tonight's special is Osso Bucco."

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

Life Extension Journal.

I can be upgraded, can you?

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

"If you kids want to grow up to be writers, it's time we give you something to write about."

"That's just the meds kicking in."

Screenior citizen

'I'll teach that social security computer a few things!'

'Is the thrill worth the chance of wiping out and getting (shudder) wet?'

"Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down and down to find my year of birth."

WILL PROGRAM FOR FOOD.

Somehow, she knew she'd fooled nobody.

"Do we have to go Dutch tonight, Arnie? I fancy a Chinese."

"That's right, sir, you did book a table for four but you didn't say anything about chairs."

Bob learned to redirect his pent-up fury. Rather than postal, he went coastal.

'We didn't mean to place an order online. We're just trying to figure out how to turn it on.'

"Frankly, Ms. Brandt, I'm content to leave addition to the experts."

My gran's on facebook!