Silver Surfer Club Gifts

My gran's on facebook!

"I don't know who you are!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

Sex Section in the Library

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

"While you're at it, can you do something with him? He can't remember a thing!"

Chef's Surprise: "I'm telling everyone that tonight's special is Osso Bucco."

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

Life Extension Journal.

I can be upgraded, can you?

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

Screenior citizen

Moving Van.

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

'I'll teach that social security computer a few things!'

'Is the thrill worth the chance of wiping out and getting (shudder) wet?'

"Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down and down to find my year of birth."

WILL PROGRAM FOR FOOD.

"Do we have to go Dutch tonight, Arnie? I fancy a Chinese."

Somehow, she knew she'd fooled nobody.

Bob learned to redirect his pent-up fury. Rather than postal, he went coastal.

'We didn't mean to place an order online. We're just trying to figure out how to turn it on.'

Mobility Park.