Silver Surfer Club Pillows

"I don't know who you are!"

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

Sex Section in the Library

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

Chef's Surprise: "I'm telling everyone that tonight's special is Osso Bucco."

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

"While you're at it, can you do something with him? He can't remember a thing!"

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

I can be upgraded, can you?

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

Moving Van.

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

Screenior citizen

'I'll teach that social security computer a few things!'

'Is the thrill worth the chance of wiping out and getting (shudder) wet?'

WILL PROGRAM FOR FOOD.

"Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down and down to find my year of birth."

Somehow, she knew she'd fooled nobody.

"Do we have to go Dutch tonight, Arnie? I fancy a Chinese."

Bob learned to redirect his pent-up fury. Rather than postal, he went coastal.

'We didn't mean to place an order online. We're just trying to figure out how to turn it on.'

'In my fantasy retirement league, I'm having a great time.'

Mobility Park.