Silly Surprise Giver Pillows

Caution! Big Butt Ahead and I Just Ate Beans!

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Christmas Presents.

"Gift"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

'Darling, I want you to have this lock of my hair to remind you how much I love you.'

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

WC problem.

Shop for cats

Bald man spraying his head with hairspray

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"