Silly Surprise Giver Gifts

Caution! Big Butt Ahead and I Just Ate Beans!

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"Gift"

Christmas Presents.

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Shouldn't have, you really."

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

'Darling, I want you to have this lock of my hair to remind you how much I love you.'

Shop for cats

WC problem.

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Bald man spraying his head with hairspray

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"