Silicon Surfer Pillows

WILL PROGRAM FOR FOOD.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

The World Wide Web.

TV-Man

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"You've got computer-breath."

"I don't know who you are!"

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

How I met your mother

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

Remote control wars.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Another nice wave.'

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'No surf?'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Sex Section in the Library