Sign Sleuth Gifts

'Somebody is stealing our signs.'

Man uses encyclopaedia to try to decipher trendy signs for toilets in pub: pens and cobs

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

$1: Family Secrets

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Exit only.

Clickbait

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

The Modern Godot

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

What security flaw?

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

Customers Wanted

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

Cowboy on horse sees diretion sign for 'thataway'.

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

Advanced Password Hint

The shadow in the little parlour

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'