Sign Sleuth Pillows

'Somebody is stealing our signs.'

Man uses encyclopaedia to try to decipher trendy signs for toilets in pub: pens and cobs

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

$1: Family Secrets

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Exit only.

Clickbait

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

The Modern Godot

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

What security flaw?

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

Cowboy on horse sees diretion sign for 'thataway'.

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

Customers Wanted

Advanced Password Hint

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

"Have you ever noticed how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?"

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."