Star Sign Sleuth Pillows

'According to this rubbish I'm going on a long journey.'

Woman guessing an unusual looking man's star sign..'Taurean'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

Ill next Thursday

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'I think I finally spotted a star between the spy satellites.'

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

Waymark

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

What star sign are you, let me guess...libra?

Pisces

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."

Gemini/people

Mercury rising.

"So, you're certain that it will be okay for me to travel during December ... "

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'

'I'll need to run a few tests and find out what your horoscope says.'