Star-sign Skeptic Pillows

"We're just incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's a complete pig!"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"I don't like space."

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Ill next Thursday

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'So what's your sign?'

'I don't believe in astrology. I think that's because I'm a Leo.'

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

First Cynic in Space

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

'...and according to our star signs we're perfectly matched!'

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

conclusive proof that the Moon landings WERE faked...

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

Pisces

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'

Gemini/people