Star Sign Enthusiast Pillows

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

'Far out! How did you pick me as a leo?'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

Pisces/fish

'My horoscope said I'd have a heavenly day.'

'We can stop dreaming of princes who come to marry us. Those princes want virgins... You're a capricorn and I'm a gemini!'

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'

"What sign are you, Gary?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

Leo/lion

'I don't care what your stars say about your prospects - I'm not giving you the Head of Department job!'

'Your star sign is Aries? Well, as an investment banker, I'm a shark.'

"Actually, I'm a Sagittarius."

"So, you're certain that it will be okay for me to travel during December ... "

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

Romance of Radio Astronomy

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

Moon

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Ill next Thursday

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'It may be just a dog turd too you - but to Professor Brian Cox and me it's a little piece of stardust.' (Based on the fact that Professor Cox is fond of stating that most of the atoms that make up living things was created inside stars)

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

A star called Gliese 710 is about to pass through our solar system and head straight for earth! Well … by "about to," I mean in about 1.35 million years. And by "through our solar system," I mean through our oort cloud. And by "head straight for earth" I mean it'll pass us by about 13,000 times the distance between the sun and the earth. Is a crowd gathering around me? No. I told you, click-bait headlines only work on the internet.

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

'I think I finally spotted a star between the spy satellites.'

The universe doesn't really care if we're "having fun." And neither does Bob.

'Which one's Ringo?'

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'