Sideline Genius Gifts

'I don't suppose he's congratulating him on his performance.'

Julen Lopetegui Agote

"I AM at my usual position."

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

Cheerleaders

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

Prisoner still life painting.

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Footballers - Kevin Keagan

Two words, boss: Virtual reality. We glue virtual reality goggles to our coffee mugs. Come again? When patrons sip their Himalayan mochas, they'll think they're dangling from a cliff in the Himalayan mountains. People will come from Miles around! People will throw up for miles around. We'll give patrons mops that double as virtual reality hockey sticks. This conversation is virtually over.

Kurt's good. Look at his family. His dad and mom really know how the game is played! They're his personal coach and videographer. As I said

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

Referee's Free Kick Pack

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

"Good news, I found a doctor who says you can still play"

"We shall now commence throwing money at the problem."

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

Martin Jol

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"... and if you guys don't shape up, I'm going to have to start kicking some butt around here."

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'