Sideline Commander Gifts

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

"I AM at my usual position."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Cheerleaders

Hair Traffic control.

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

Punishment for the kicker.

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"Still on your left."

Referee's Free Kick Pack

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

"Good news, I found a doctor who says you can still play"

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

'Never say never.'

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

'Bill, I like the way you handle responsibility so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

'When he plays, our opponents hear footsteps.'

Dugout sale!

"I take serious offense to their offense. And I am feeling very defensive about our defense. Would somebody give me a damn hug? Now Please?"