Side Effect Analyzer Gifts

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"We may have found the vaccine but it's fattening."

'Well, Dear, the doctor did say there could be side effects to those pills!'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

Field hockey injury? A doctor will see you after the football concussion

"I feel cheated. Your medications have much more interesting side effects than mine do."

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

'I think I may be an adrenaline junkie.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

"I have headaches, stomach, pains, aching muscles, back pains, creaking joints, nausea and dry eyes."

Standup Pharmacist

"You'll enjoy the way these interact with over-the-counter medication."

"The tiny one treats the symptoms. The big one treats the side effects."

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.

Philosopher King

"We should mention a few mild side effects. If here are none at all, people will be suspicious."

"On the plus side, by the time you read all the side effects, you'll be done with the medication."

"Any side effects from the HRT?" "WHAT?"

'I'm bored. Want to see whose medications have more side effects?'

'Oh yes. It's mentioned here, under side-effects.'

'Side effects'

'I think you'll find the side effects of this little drug rather amusing.'

'It says not to use heavy machinery when taking these. What's heavy machinery?'

"Yesterday it was the other side, but today the side effect is this side..."

Warning: Do not send any emails while taking this medication

'... which in turn will cause side effects of nausea, for which I'm giving you Trylitol, which will induce temporary blindness, which I'll counteract with...'