Side-effect Specialist Gifts

"We may have found the vaccine but it's fattening."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Good Luck!

Medical Examinations.

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Proctologists' Office Party Games

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

'Well, Dear, the doctor did say there could be side effects to those pills!'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

Trust Your Doctor

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

"After practicing dermatology every day, maybe you should try branching out from those warts-and-all biographies."

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

Niche Marketing

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

"I can refer you either to Dr. Basinkski, a noted specialist, Dr. Hodge-Cabot, who is a pioneer in the field, or Charlie, a generic doctor who also does a very nice job."

"I feel cheated. Your medications have much more interesting side effects than mine do."

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

"I can see it from here."

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

"We're sending you to a specialist in Holland. The Dutch, as you know, are experts on tulips."

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'