Side-effect Specialist Gifts

"We may have found the vaccine but it's fattening."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Good Luck!

Medical Examinations.

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Proctologists' Office Party Games

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

'Well, Dear, the doctor did say there could be side effects to those pills!'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

Trust Your Doctor

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

"After practicing dermatology every day, maybe you should try branching out from those warts-and-all biographies."

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

Niche Marketing

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

"I can refer you either to Dr. Basinkski, a noted specialist, Dr. Hodge-Cabot, who is a pioneer in the field, or Charlie, a generic doctor who also does a very nice job."

"I feel cheated. Your medications have much more interesting side effects than mine do."

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! I just found out "Empire" and "Star" are in the same universe. For months I've been telling everyone I knew that "Star" was a blatant ripoff of "Empire." But then I found out they're made by the same people and they're in the same tv universe, and I'm like totally fine with it now. Stop it! We speak "English" on this show, not "tv addict"! Wait a minute ... are we talking about soap operas? Because there's an exception for soap operas. No, we

"I can see it from here."

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

"We're sending you to a specialist in Holland. The Dutch, as you know, are experts on tulips."