Side Effect Explorer Gifts

"You'll enjoy the way these interact with over-the-counter medication."

'Well, Dear, the doctor did say there could be side effects to those pills!'

PHARMACY, 'Here you are, sir -- don't operate heavy machinery or watch television.'

'Here's your medication. And boy - does this have a list of side effects!'

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

"I feel cheated. Your medications have much more interesting side effects than mine do."

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

Artist on the Beach

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

Midlife: You Are Here.

The Real American Dream

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'J.B. Potts, Head of Research, Aerodynamics...'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Is he dead, or is it intern fatigue?'

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

Standup Pharmacist

'There's a lot we don't know about horizontal TV syndrome.'

I've been working here more than seven years. I'd like to talk about retirement benefits. I'd like a long-term contract. Ha ha. I wouldn't mind a dental plan and you know what else? Profit sharing! Hee hee, ho ho, ha ha. I really did just do it for the laughs. Ha ha hoo hoo hee -

"I get you're an entrepreneur, but what do you do?"

"The tiny one treats the symptoms. The big one treats the side effects."

"On the plus side, by the time you read all the side effects, you'll be done with the medication."

"An last - Stonehinge!!!"

"We should mention a few mild side effects. If here are none at all, people will be suspicious."

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"Any side effects from the HRT?" "WHAT?"

'I'm bored. Want to see whose medications have more side effects?'

'Oh yes. It's mentioned here, under side-effects.'

'I think you'll find the side effects of this little drug rather amusing.'