Side Effect Analyzer Prints

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"We may have found the vaccine but it's fattening."

'Well, Dear, the doctor did say there could be side effects to those pills!'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

"I feel cheated. Your medications have much more interesting side effects than mine do."

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

"I have headaches, stomach, pains, aching muscles, back pains, creaking joints, nausea and dry eyes."

Standup Pharmacist

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

"You'll enjoy the way these interact with over-the-counter medication."

"The tiny one treats the symptoms. The big one treats the side effects."

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.

Philosopher King

"We should mention a few mild side effects. If here are none at all, people will be suspicious."

"On the plus side, by the time you read all the side effects, you'll be done with the medication."

"Any side effects from the HRT?" "WHAT?"

'I'm bored. Want to see whose medications have more side effects?'

'Oh yes. It's mentioned here, under side-effects.'

'It says not to use heavy machinery when taking these. What's heavy machinery?'

'I think you'll find the side effects of this little drug rather amusing.'

'Side effects'

Warning: Do not send any emails while taking this medication

"Yesterday it was the other side, but today the side effect is this side..."

'THis probably won't work, but we do have medications that will take care of the side effects.'