Side-effect Skeptics Prints

Sleeping Pills: May cause drowsiness...

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"You calm down."

Safety Barriers

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"We may have found the vaccine but it's fattening."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

'Well, Dear, the doctor did say there could be side effects to those pills!'

"Tarzan hate frivolous lawsuits."

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

"I feel cheated. Your medications have much more interesting side effects than mine do."

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

'Baldo, being on TV requires talent.'

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

Standup Pharmacist

"You'll enjoy the way these interact with over-the-counter medication."

"This paleo diet is a lot of work. Maybe we should eat grains."