Side-effect Skeptics Prints

Sleeping Pills: May cause drowsiness...

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"You calm down."

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Safety Barriers

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

Look! This says that space aliens have landed and have taken over control of the earth. Boy that's a load off my mind!

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

"We may have found the vaccine but it's fattening."

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

'Well, Dear, the doctor did say there could be side effects to those pills!'

"Tarzan hate frivolous lawsuits."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

Many people suspect that the players aren't the only ones on steroids.

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

"I feel cheated. Your medications have much more interesting side effects than mine do."

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

'Not another Doctor Who spin off!?'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

Standup Pharmacist

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

'Baldo, being on TV requires talent.'

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

"You'll enjoy the way these interact with over-the-counter medication."