Siblings Who Avoid Chores Pillows

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

Argument between Disposable or Washable Nappies

"Quit sticking your tongue out at your little brother!"

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Can you hit the mute button on him? I'm trying to watch TV."

'Hey, you eat with your face in the bowl, you're not house-broken, you can drool as good as I can and you're a quadruped... Mind if I call you 'Brother'?'

'Of course you can hear a rattle!'

Car sticker reads: "Child on board. Keep Your Distance - wish we could."

"Well they look pretty undocumented to me."

'Just remember that until you grow into a huge tree, I'm the grown-up around here!'

"Trust me, Elaine, having kids changes you!"

'Alix, there's nothing in there. It's just a plastic pool...'

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up every hour during the night."

"They are so busy fighting with each other, they never get their chores done. I think we're raising two future politicians."

'What...you just sold your little sister?!'

Mummy, Mummy: Tim's piece of cheese doesn't have as many holes as mine...

'Mom! Make him stop! -- he's trying to sell my dolls on eBay!'

Life before fitness trackers.

'How very Blackheath!'

'The worst part is listening to my parents' comparisons to my brother. He's a smart phone.'