Siblings With Kids Pillows

"Trust me, Elaine, having kids changes you!"

The Ol' Covid-19 Showdown

Hot trends for parents 1. Crumb detailing 2. Camo stains magically only visible in public 3. Chunky pockets stuffed with stones, squashed leaves, tiny socks, and snack wrappers....

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

'He's a good watchdog,but not particularly good with children.'

Car sticker reads: "Child on board. Keep Your Distance - wish we could."

"This song is about my struggle with the bottle."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

At the Museum

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Collies Without Borders

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

Pet Entertainers

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"Better luck next time, kid."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

Snowman

The Charge of the Kids