Siblings With Children Pillows

Argument between Disposable or Washable Nappies

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up every hour during the night."

At the Museum

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Boy and Bear and Monster

Collies Without Borders

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Better luck next time, kid."

Snowman

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

The Charge of the Kids

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Fade to black...

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."