Siblings Of Aging Parents Gifts

It's 10 PM Do You Know Where Your Parents Are?

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"First snowman?"

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

'Check out the old dude.'

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"