Shuffleboard Champ Gifts

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Instructional guide to scribbling

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'This part was tenure.'

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

Oh sure, unload it on me to do it/Out.

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'...Or not.'

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

'I forgot the question.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'It's not an accounting breakthrough, Sam. It's wrong.'

"There's the evidence of our mouse problem!"

Parent/Teacher conjugation

"Well, Martha, I certainly hope your Scrabble victories keep you warm at night!"

Space Hopper Rodeo