Scrabble Champion Gifts

"Well, Martha, I certainly hope your Scrabble victories keep you warm at night!"

Today, our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington. In my day, we built bunkers ten feet underground and stocked them with tuna fish. We planned to sit out the apocalypse down there, eating tuna on crackers and playing Scrabble. Tomorrow, our quest continues ...

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

"You're going to hate yourself."

Instructional guide to scribbling

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"Ok, so you beat me at scrabble!"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

Phil uses all seven tiles in Scrabble and ascends to heaven

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

'You seem very confident this morning.'

"Well %$@#(&!! is not a banned word in the &%Xsing UK!"

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

Have you seen my iPhone? No. You lost it? I may have misplaced it. Big deal. You hate it. It'll turn up. Exactly, I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I especially hate the Scrabble app and I absolutely can't wait to find the phone so I can mock it further! Help: I love my iPhone. Oh dear. Trouble brewing. To be continued ...

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

'...And then, apparently, it just went berserk when someone insisted on having 'Podcast'.'

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.

'How God invented polish'

'I'm just not sure he fits in.'

'Hey! We can play Scrabble while we eat!'

I'm thankful for Xbox Series X. Scrabble. The Love Doctor. Well I'm thankful for friends and family. That's what I meant. What he said. and the Love Doctor.

'Can you get me that productivity report?' 'Sure, let me finish this crossword first.'

Come to bed, snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points, and then told him his parents don

Schr?dinger's cat playing Scrabble.

"I'm pretty sure the word you've used to describe the new Scrabble isn't allowed."

A Crossword puzzle.

"No!"

"Hardscrabble"

My favorite tea: Hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments.

"My wife bought me a Scrabble set for my birthday...I can't find the words to thank her!"

'It costs a lot to get it delivered out here, but I LOVE the Sunday crossword!'